How do you recover from a broken heart? You gave your time, money, your patience, your body and your secrets out and it’s all thrown back at you like a piece of trash. Oh yes, most of us must have gone through familiar cycle of desertion in relationship or marriage. ‘How do I continue, even If I pretend? I cannot sleep in the night. The ache I feel in my soul cannot be assuaged by the most profound combinations of pills. Is this life? Get trodden or trolled? You’re a loser in both ways.’ Read Dianne full story below;
I got back from a really stressful day at work at the new site of my interior design project. I sipped some juice, clear out the garbage for the council and hurriedly navigate down the community soccer field in the suburbs. I promised my daughter I was going to attend the evening soccer game where she’s the goal. I’d expected Brad to meet me up at the venue.
I was fully immersed into the game now that it is a tie and both teams pressing hard into each other’s box 32 to edge a win. It is 7:30 in the evening, but Brad is yet to show up. Time clocks forward, game is over, it finished with a 2-2 tie, and time is quarter past 8, still no show or scintilla of Brad. This is unusual of my boyfriend of the last three and the half years.
What could have happened? I checked my phone and I got the shocker of my life, SMS reads ‘Hey, Dianne, I have been thinking about where we are and where I should be, I don’t think I can continue this anymore, I am not snitching on you, I just don’t see myself into you anymore, please keep in touch’. I lost touch of consciousness, and the next place I will see anything is in the emergency ward. I must have fractured my collar bone with the way I slipped after I read the heartbreaking message. My life has been missed and messed up. I can hardly concentrate at work, and crying myself to sleep at night. What do I do?
Well, the seven following tips would help anyone in Dianne’s shoe.
Forgiveness– nursing a broken heart is a harrowing endeavor. Forgiving others is not for them, it is for you. While you live in emotional pain, the culprit is living large. Move on, you need inner peace more than anything else at this stage. Mind you, this is not supposed to be easy, but it is possible. Release them from the terror in your heart. The weather today says ‘move on’. That’s harsh, but trust me it is the golden reality.
Talk To Someone – Find someone you can confide in. it could be your pastor, a friend, therapist, parent or anyone you feel you trust. It will help you release all the toxins of negative thoughts and ill feelings at some point. There is no need to repress the ill feelings. Express yourself if you had to cry on someone’s shoulder. Do not deny the pain, the more reason you will need to talk to someone.
See The Positives – the colorful things of life are reserved to the later. Rain has to pour first for one to see brightness of the rainbow. Sometimes the break-ups are make-ups. You didn’t want it to happen but it did happen anyway and seems like you needed it. Some people can relate to this, they have their former relationship turmoil to thank for their present status. You may be on your way to finding a better suited, loving, caring and responsible partner. I believe
Stop Picking Through The Rubble – don’t pick up the bad habits flow. Desist from starting to do random, crazy or irresponsible things. Stop this ‘I can do bad myself’ ideology. You’re your number one priority. Overeating, worry, alcoholism, drugs…. will not make things better but worse. But remember to eat healthy, you need that flow.
Embrace Positivity – surround yourself with positive-minded people. They could be people from your workplace, community, therapy sessions, church or family. For what those connections are worth, at least they will to cheer you and remind you that there is more to life. Delete all your ex contacts and if possible reformat your shared drives. Stop trying to frisk all possible updates about your ex. In fact, wish your ex well. That can be difficult but t is your emotional release clause. In so doing, stop obsessing yourself about how you feel before the outbreak.
Ready For The Future– after you must have been emotionally healed since no one cherish the fun of an emotional garb; be ready for the best of your life; be ready for a new exciting relationship. Open yourself up to the possibility of meting someone new. Do not rush in, play the game of love to your favor this time. This is called ‘looking out for me’.
Review– sometimes our pride, insensitivity, selfishness or attitudinal swings can cloud our judgment. Before you move ahead, review the damage. Did you screw up? Find out the cause of the fallout. Sometimes there is nothing to find, some relationships are just dead and there is nothing to it anymore. Now, what could you have done better? Why do you need this, you need to know where you screwed up and fix yourself before you repeat same pattern in your future relationship.
Finally, what makes a relationship stick? The wheel of a successful relationship is work. For a relationship or marriage to work, the partners must WORK it. This demands daily building of mutual trust, respect, love, sacrifice, compromise, understanding and ethics. There may be a few setbacks as it is not always a smooth run but the partner(s) are willing enough to keep working at it. When one of the partners stops working on the continuous building and growth of the relationship for so long whilst the other person is having to deposit so much; then there is bound to be imbalances. Those cracks eventually breaks the relationship at some point. Even a marriage certificate won’t be able to save the day.
Question is how much can one stomach or how long can one tolerate? You want o continue going all the way till you reach your wilt’s end. You came in through the entrance, now find yourself the exit door.
Note: A word for the women. Make sure you have equal stakes in the financial outlook of your relationship should you feel the need to break-out to save yourself. A lot of women are sticking with an abusive relationship because of finances. When children is involved, if you’re not financially independent, get a good lawyer to sort you.